Safe and Sound
by detective-smartypants
Summary: Tragedy can bring people closer together, can the same be said when it comes to the lives of Maura and Jane? Jane falls ill and realises that there might only be one person who can make things okay. Rizzles.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: _It's time for devoted detective to face the ultimate battle. Not bad guys or car chases, this time Jane Rizzoli is forced to face death itself, it's the ultimate battle, and Jane's strength is put to the test. But sometimes, we need a little bit of help, we need a bit of love, we need a pillar. It's these times of great pain that we finally let ourselves face the truth and fall in love, even the stubborn people. _**

**Hi guys, I just wanted to say thank you for the response I received on my first Rizzoli & isles story, it meant a lot to me! I wasn't planning on doing any full stories with more than one chapter, but the other night I couldn't stop thinking about this storyline, which I had used before for a different show. I'm not sure if it will pick up or not but I might aswell try, right? I'll see what response I get and go from there! I also just want to say I unfortunately don't own Rizzoli and isles *sadface***

**Prologue**

"_To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It's not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having doubts: Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death."_ – Taylor Swift.

The sun had finally set over Boston after what seemed to be the longest summer yet. The heat had captured the city in a suffocating haze, unbearable at times. Usually, Maura had welcomed this with open arms and spent her free time letting the sun take her to a place of great serenity. However, this summer was different. Between all the time she had spent in the small room filled with machines and the constant irritating beeping in her head and the time spent in Jane's apartment, she just didn't care for the heat.

Maura sat down on the roof of a high building, taking in her surroundings with each deep breath. She didn't want to think about the events that had lead her here, she just wanted to take this moment and breathe, something that she had found nearly impossible in the past 6 months. She had been too busy holding someone else up to stand tall for herself in the battle. That didn't matter though; it was over now, the calm that follows a storm. She found the night too quiet, she found the breeze too windy, she found the sky too dark. Everything wasn't how it had been, a once so composed and elegant woman found it hard to piece together a coherent sentence with all that had happened.

Slowly, she reached into her pocket and let her hands rest on the piece of gold jewellery that she'd slipped in there only the day before. It was silly that an inanimate object could give her comfort, but this was the only thing holding her together right now. This was a reminder of everything that had changed, and what was yet to come. This was the symbol of the strength each person had come to face this summer, the fight that had seemed so exhausting and was now over. She could rest, she could breathe, and she could only focus on what was next.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Thanks for the reviews! I promise it will eventually be Rizzles, and a lot of it! But its starting off a little slow to let something properly develop! Please read and review!**_

_I remember tears streaming down your face when you said 'I'll never let you go'._

**March 3rd.**  
It was times like these Jane Rizzoli was grateful for the heat that was ready to start gripping Boston; the winter had been far too cold and she was tired of chattering teeth and gloves and scarves and she wanted nothing more than to step outside in the morning without slipping on ice. Chasing perps during winter was often a difficult task, especially when snow was tripping her up in her tracks. Now springtime, the chilly breeze was starting to warm and the world was looking a little greener and it was because of this that she was in such a good mood today.  
She was on her way to meet ME Maura Isles for her morning coffee and chat and that would, of course, be followed by a day of hard detective work. Jane Rizzoli was a detective, through and through. Everything in her life revolved around chasing the bad guys and getting them behind bars; she could most definitely not live without that rush of adrenaline that came from a car chase or a big drug-related bust up. It wasn't that Jane didn't like other things, she really did, it was just that she had known from an incredibly early age that being a cop was who she was, what she wanted to do, and everything that she loved. She was the kind of person who put work before love, and for this she often got misinterpreted by men who thought she was just 'another mate'. It wasn't that she didn't want to fall in love, although she'd never admit it, she did. She wanted badly to be held at night, or kissed in the morning, she wanted kids, she wanted to make lunches and clean up messy playrooms, but more importantly, she wanted to save people from the badness that roamed the Boston streets daily.  
She knocked on the door of the ME's ravishing home and let a calm smile wash over her face when the small blonde opened the door, looking over-dressed, as per usual. Out of all the people in Jane's life, Maura Isles was the only person that she could truly open up to. Although sometimes she did distance herself even from Maura, she knew that she could always turn to her best friend in the times she needed a hand.  
Maura was the kind of friend who would run to your home in the middle of the night when you need it most, the kind of person who would always tell you what you needed to hear, she was the kind of person who would pick you right up off the ground when you fall and once you've been dusted off she would make a little joke out of it, because she knew that Jane Rizzoli always needed a little humour. She was Jane's other half, and some found this a little strange that two grown women could call each other best friends, but being in each other's company was second nature to them.  
"Seriously, Maura? We're going to work, not New York Fashion week."  
Maura let out a small chuckle and led Jane into her kitchen to pour them both some well needed coffee, no doubt it'd be a long day. She looked Jane up and down while pulling the lever of her expensive coffee machine down, letting the warm liquid flow into a white cup in her hand. Four hour coffee could never be competed with, instant coffee was dirt compared to this stuff.  
"Kopi luwak will be the most amazing thing to have ever passed your lips, better than those poorly produced jars you get from walmart."  
Jane let out a huff and took the cup from Maura's hand, sitting down on a stool by the worktops. She took a sip and let the warm liquid work its magic, surprised by how accurate Maura was, however she'd never admit that.  
"Tastes…like coffee."  
"It's heaven, Jane. Stop being sarcastic."  
"So," Jane said, taking another awakening gulp, "how was your date?"  
"Another medical related mishap, let's just say I won't be taking up a job in diagnostics anytime soon."  
Jane chuckled as she took the last gulp of coffee, just in time for her cell to vibrate in her pocket. As she took the call and they headed towards yet another crime scene, a headache began to creep up on her, but nothing bad enough to distract her, so she quickly dismissed it as too much caffeine. Jane Rizzoli did not get sick.

"I can honestly say that there's nothin' better in the world than an ice cold beer after tackling a 250lb drug dealer."  
Jane and Maura were sitting in the dirty robber enjoying some down time and French fries, they hadn't really managed to catch each other much during the day after Jane chasing down low-lives and Maura spending her hours dissecting dead people and tying links to the unsolved cases. It was in these times that they felt they had to end their nights either in the bar or on a couch, trying to pick up a feeling of familiarity.  
Working on this side of the law often made the women feel like complete aliens to the rest of the world, and they'd find a lot of their time being spent in other people's lives rather than enjoying their own, so with every opportunity they had to just breathe, they'd stand with open arms welcoming some fresh air.  
"You're skin is looking a little Pallor, Jane, are you feeling okay?"  
Maura had been studying her for a while, doing her regular subtle check-ups, knowing all too well that when Jane felt remotely unwell, it would be hidden away quickly. She had noticed the paleness of Jane's skin the moment they'd met at the bar, but was waiting for the moment to say it, these things had a process.  
"I'm feeling absolutely fine, Maur." She huffed, taking her gaze away.  
The headache had been niggling at her all day, but admitting to anyone that she felt under the weather was weak, and cops couldn't be weak.  
"Are you sure? I noticed you shaking this morning as well."  
"Honestly, why do you always have to do that doctor thing? I'm sitting in a pub enjoying a beer, don't ruin that for me."

Maura sighed decided to leave the subject rather than argue about it, at the end of the day, it was Jane's body.

"I honestly don't know why you insist on eating food like this all the time, Jane. You need an efficient amount of vitamins and health beneficiaries in your food in order to keep well and fit."

"tastes good." Jane smirked and chewed on a few fries before finishing her beer and standing up. "anyway, I better head now, it's already 11 and I gotta be up at 6:30 in the mornin'."

It wasn't until they were leaving the bar that the niggling in Jane's head turned into a banging, which turned into a thumping, which in turn made the world move beneath her feet and spin into a haze of colours, and before she knew it she was gripped by a pair of arms, stopping her from completely toppling over.

"Take a deep breath, Jane. Focus on my voice, come on keep standing."

Luckily Maura's voice did its job on keeping her feet on the ground, but it didn't stop the nausea that was coursing through her or the spinning that was surrounding her.

"Let's get you to my car, you're okay."

She felt herself being moved to a sitting position and the world began to fall back into place with a few deep breaths, however it still took her a few moments to dare use her voice. "whoah, that was unexpected."

Maura sighed and placed two fingers to Jane's neck, forehead creasing in concern. "how long have you been feeling unwell?"

"I've not." Jane groaned, followed by an exasperated sigh as she looked Maura in the eyes. "just a couple of days."

"Any headaches, Double vision or fever?"

"no…well, a small headache but nothing bad at all. I think I'm just tired, I need to go home and sleep it off."

"people don't just almost faint because they are _tired_, Jane. You might be coming down with something, I'll take you home and get you settled in and you need to make sure to let me know if anything else is wrong."

The night ended with Maura tucking an exhausted Jane into bed and watching her for a moment trying to figure out if something bad might be going on, and she considered how lucky she was to have Jane in her life, but she could never admit out loud that there were times where she maybe wished to have something more than just a best friend out of Jane.

The way she made her feel was indescribable, when Jane laughed, Maura had to smile, when Jane cried, Maura had to cry; when Jane touched her, a jolt of electricity would flow through her like a switch had awakened her slumbered feelings. Jane brought something out of Maura that she'd never be able to explain, nor would she ever try. It was just over-evaluations, she didn't love Jane, she just felt right around her.

Or so that was what she told herself every morning when she woke up and felt that she needed Jane to be by her side.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for those who reviewed! it means a lot considering I only really just started writing R&I fics! Anyway, I wanted to update but only had an hour to it so its small and there's not really a lot in there, but enjoy nonetheless. **

_**I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY UNLESS I HAVE CREATED THEM MYSELF, NOR DO I OWN THE SHOW AS MUCH AS I WOULD REALLY LOVE TO. **_

_I remember you said dont leave me here alone _

Jane Rizzoli didn't need anybody for anything, or so she had been telling herself all week. She could tell that Maura had been closely watching over her ever since the dizzy spell outside of the bar; she didn't need this right now. They were snowed under in the station with three murders over the space of two days and, typical Rizzoli style, Jane had been doing everything she possibly could to make sure that this guy was caught. So far there had unfortunately been no leads, which meant that Jane and Frost had taken it upon themselves to interview the 30 odd people that claimed to be witness. Maura hadn't said much to Jane in that time, trying to be subtle about her mission to find out what was happening. So far, she hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary other than the fact that Jane looked exhausted whenever she saw her in passing.

Maura had always been afraid of confronting Jane when it came to anything personal like being sick or sad about anything because it always ended with the same results and that was Jane denying feeling anything. She had never understood Jane's need to hide things that she should openly talk about for her own sake, it was like she had build a wall. Then again, she had grown up with brothers, that probably played a large part in it. Sometimes Maura wished than, when the world was hurting her best friend, she could be the one to carry her through it all. Something Maura could never explain, even through the vast knowledge of everything and anything, was the way she felt when it came to Jane Rizzoli. Sometimes that was the only face she could bare seeing when things werent okay, and crying in her arms was sometimes the only thing that could give her a little comfort. Jane could make her feel better at the bet of times but most of the time, seeing her was painful. It seemed odd, because Maura couldn't explain it. She still felt all the emotions that she had guesed would come with being a best friend, but sometimes she felt more. The problem was that she could never tel Jane this, and there was no chance Jane could possibly feel the same way.

The clatter of heels made Jane look up from her screen and a small smile made its way across her cheeks when she saw her best friend walking towards her carrying a cup of well deserved fuel. Her head had been hurting since early in the morning, hopefully this coffee would help her feel a little better. Taking the warm cup into her hand, she let it heat her cold hands and smiled before letting the liquid soothe her slightly aching throat.

"You look tired, have you been sleeping?"

_Here we go_ Jane thought, shrugging at her friend. "headache all night."

Her dispondant reaction made Maura a lilttle concerned, well more than she already was. "How long has it been going on for?"

Jane sighed and thought back to the case around 3 weeks prior that had left her feeling completely exhausted. "3 weeks, ever since the McDemit case."

Maura looked at her a little closer and noticed the goosebumps all over her skin even though it was a warm temperature in the station, her clothes were hanging a little loose making it obvious she hadn't been eating properly and she was shaking a little. "Have you thought about seeing a doctor?"

"doctors are useless, Maura. It's a cold."

She didn't _want _to push the subject but she was worried about her, Jane had been acting out of character to the point that she had actually passed the opportunity to watch 'the game' with her brother the previous Tuesday. She needed to push her to take care of herself, otherwise the woman would end up in a hospital bed. It had happened before.

"can you at least let me run a blood test?"

Jane considered it for a second before her cell phone rang and she picked it up then ran out of the room without a word.

It wasn't until later that night when Maura was cleaning up to leave the morgue that Jane walked through the door breathlessly, her face beaming with pride. "We got the bastard! It was a tough one we had him cornered and he tried to hit me, I just threw him to the ground! you should have been there Maur!"

Maura chuckled at her friend and listened to her telling the story from the start to finish with a smile on her face the whole way through. Maybe she had misread what was happeing, it might have just been a heavy case that was keeping her down. Maybe things were actually fine.

"so, drinks on me?" Maura proposed, turning the light to the morgue off so she could go home for the night.

"sure! I gotta grab my jacket first but we..."

Maura noticed Jane was no longer walking beside her and turned around to see her a few steps behind, face completely pale, leaning on the wall. "Jane?"

"wait...I...I just need to catch my b-breath."

Maura stood beside her and supported her with her arms as she swayed on the spot. "Are you feeling Dizzy?"

Jane nodded slowly and closed her eyes for a few seconds to try and even out her vision.

"lets get you to a seat, Jane."

Maura tried to usher her from the spot, but Jane held onto the hand rail with dear lilfe until her hands where ghostly white.

"c-cant."

"Do you think you could lower yourself to the floor?"

Jane nodded again, but the second she let go of the rail, her legs gave way and she would have fallen to the floor had it not been for Maura standing there.

"Jane!"

Using all of her strength, she lowered Jane to the floor and felt for a pulse before calling for help.

Sitting on the floor, holding her best friend in her arms, Maura listened to the feeling in her stomach that told her something was seriously not okay here.


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you so much for the reviews. **

The halls of this hospital held too many memories for Maura; too many things had happened over the course of her work in Boston that had lead her to this place and, too many times, she had to see Jane in one of those rooms, covered in tubes and surrounded by machines that only Maura understood. She took a seat on one of the cold plastic chairs and rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands. Exhaustion was setting in now, she had been awake since 6am and hadn't stopped to take a breath all day, but she refused to leave until she found out what Jane's condition was. It was now 1am and the waiting room was filled to the brim with crying parents and worried husbands and wives, the coffee cups were piling up on the worn out table in the middle of the room.

She had called Angela to let her know what had happened, but somehow managed to convince her not to come, knowing all to well that Jane would be too tired to deal with a worried mother when she woke up. It wasn't that Jane didn't have the patience for her mother; it wasn't that she didn't love her; she was just a little too much at times. Especially when Jane was tired or sick and Angela was rushing around her frantically, trying to make her feel better when all she really wanted was to be left alone.

The water dispenser was giving off an irritating buzzing sound and a child in the corner was screeching for her mother, causing Maura to tap her feet impatiently. She stood up and crossed the room to look around for a Doctor that could inform her on Jane's condition. There was no way she could sit in this room any longer; it was too hot and the air was too dense. She wanted to leave, but the sound of someone calling her name made her turn on her heels.

The man walking towards her had gray hair and wore dark blue scrubs with a white lab coat. He had a stern look on his face and, judging by the bags under his eyes, he had been working all day. He extended a hand to Maura's and they shook hands before he led her to a seat. Pulling open his medical chart, he turned to Maura and smiled a little. "Jane is going to be okay, we've assessed her condition and done some tests. Everything look's how it should apart from slightly elevated blood pressure and heart rate. I advise that she stay in overnight for further observation but she has woke up and asked for a release form."

Maura let out a deep sigh of relief and nodded. "Typical Jane, she really doesn't like hospital's, not after having to spent 2 months in one when she was injured a couple of years ago." She stood up and flattened out the wrinkles in her dress. "She will be okay, I have medical experience, so she can stay at my home tonight and I'll make sure everything is okay." She smiled reassuringly at the doctor and he nodded, clearly a little unsure of this idea.

"Okay, but make sure that you check her vitals during the night. Any fever or complications I'd like you to call up. She's in room 318."

By the time Maura got to Jane's room, she was dressed and sitting up in the bed, looking worn down and exhausted. She crossed the room and took a seat next to her, turning to observe her for a while. Her skin, although a little better than before she was admitted, was still very pale and her eyes were hollow and dark. She looked like she needed at least a weeks rest, but the question was whether Jane would actually allow herself to relax.

"You gave me quite a fright, Jane."

Jane slapped her hands on her legs and stood up to grab the rest of her things. "Well, sorry about that. Everything is fine though, so can I go home?"

Maura nodded and stood up to face Jane directly, taking her hand and gazing into her eyes for a moment before blinking to regain her normal composure. "You're staying with me tonight, no excuses." And with those words, they both left the hospital and headed towards Maura's house.

The night had been uneventful, as soon as they got back and Jane settled into the guest bed, they both fell asleep in different rooms. Maura only woke up once at 5am to check on Jane as quietly as she could and went back to her own bed to get some sleep before work. She had called to let them know she wouldn't be in until 10, she had been up far too late to go in at her regular time, but didn't want to take any time off. It was a really nice change to sleep a little late and, when she finally woke up, she made her way to the kitchen to make some breakfast for Jane and herself.

Although the house was quiet and everything was completely normal, Maura had a strange feeling at the pit of her stomach. She wasn't sure if she was just tired and hungry or if she was simply worried about Jane. The doctors had seemed to think everything was okay, but Maura was always an over thinker which made her believe that there could be something serious going on. She sighed and sat down for a moment to let the thoughts in her mind slip away before placing Jane's French toast and coffee on to a tray and heading into the guest bedroom.

But upon approaching the door, her breath caught in her throat and her arms fell like heavy weights as she dropped the tray to the floor. Jane lay in the bed, pale as the white sheets, with a trail of blood falling from her nose. She ran to Jane's side and pushed two fingers against her neck, breathing a sigh of relief when she felt her pulse hammer against her skin. Kneeling over her best friend, she shook her shoulders less gently than she had planned and called her name a few times, but only got a groan in response. Quickly, she grabbed her cell from her pocket and called 911, before turning her attention back to Jane, who seemed to be getting even paler.

"I knew it, I knew there was something else wrong. I knew it wasn't exhaustion…god, how could they be so stupid?"

Maura was pacing back and forth in front of Angela Rizzoli in the same room she had spent 4 hours in the night before. Her hand was waving about in frustration and she mouthed off her concerns in a pace that Angela couldn't understand. Never in her life had she been so angry at anyone. Not because they allowed her to leave, but because she never would have wanted to leave if they had done their job correctly.

Angela stood up and grabbed Maura by both shoulders with a stern look in her eyes, immediately stopping Maura from her buzzing conversation. "stop." She spoke quickly, pushing her into a sitting position. "That's not going to make anything better, Maura. I know you're worried, I'm obviously worried too but they will do what they can…they'll make Janie better, they did it before." Maura ran her hands through her hair and took a few calming breaths. Usually, Maura would be the person in control. Normally she would have to calm Angela down with reassuring medical terminology. But, for some reason, tonight was different. Angela wasn't an emotional wreck because she hadn't seen how pale Jane had gone, or how bad the fever was. Maura hadn't even taken a moment to tell her about her erratic heartbeat or the nose bleed she had suffered. In fact, as far as Angela knew, Jane had just passed out from exhaustion. Maura couldn't explain why she was so scared to the core, maybe it was because her feelings that she had been suppressing were seeping through the cracks, maybe it was because the person she…really liked…was currently having MRIs and blood tests and was completely unconscious. Maybe it was because, for the second time in 24 hours, she was faced with the idea of losing Jane.

_**You know what to do…**_

**II**

**II**

**II**

**II**

**II**

**VVVVVVV**

**VVVVVV**

**VVVVV**

**VVVV**

**VVV**

**VV**

**V**


	5. Chapter 5

**I have spent three nights getting all of my stuff updated and hopefully i'll be doing the same later on in the week, sorry about waiting so long to update, I've not had a laptop till this week! **

_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down. _

Maura Isles was always in control of her emotions, no matter what situation she was in, she could always count on being in control and not letting herself slip away from her strong stance but for the past three days, this wasn't the case. She had tried her hardest to remind herself that she had to be logical, that she had to stay strong, but no matter how many times she tried to reassure herself, her mind seemed to always find a way back to Jane. She had requested to be left alone and Maura knew this was so she didn't need to put up with her mothers constant worrying and to avoid people crowding, but Maura had spent the nights awake thinking about what could be going on. The doctors wouldn't tell anyone what was going on, no one knew why she was still in hospital. Rational thoughts were out the window because Maura Isles knew that she couldn't keep her composure when it came to Jane Rizzoli.

She had spent the past 30 minutes pacing the floor of the morgue, waiting for a distraction, telling herself over and over that this could be a number of treatable things. Dehydration, hypoglycaemia, epilepsy. Anything. Her feelings towards Jane had been making more appearances lately and no matter how hard she tried to keep them at bay she found herself with the sudden urge to run to her side and hug her tightly before coming clean about everything she had felt since the day she had met her. But right now wasn't the time to put Jane on the spot like that, she needed a best friend, not a way to ruin their friendship.

"Any news on Jane yet?" Maura smiled at Korsak, who was standing at the door waiting for an invitation to enter the room.

"She asked the doctors not to allow any visitors right now. Obviously she is too full of pride to let anyone see her unwell, but that is her decision. I tried calling this afternoon but they wont give anyone any clues as to what might be wrong with her." Maura kept a calm look on her face and sat down at her computer, gesturing for Korsak to sit next to her.

Maura wanted to make everything okay for Jane, but it was never that simple with her. There always had to be a push because Jane was always too busy trying to remain strong and…well…Jane. She wanted to hold her tight in her arms and run her hands through her curls, but Maura couldn't admit that. She wanted to touch her skin and let the electricity from their nerve endings pulse through her body like a match being lit for the first time, but she could never ever admit that. Never.

She pushed those feelings aside, like she always did, and turned back to Korsak.

"It's just…i-i'm worried. It's not like her to get sick and its certainly not like her to lose contact for this amount of time. I don't want anythin' to happen to her again, I couldn't handle losin' her."

Maura smiled gently at Korsak and broke the awkward distance in the room by touching the back of his hand supportively. Korsak had always been a strong figure in Jane's life, he had picked her up when Hoyt had left her vulnerable and he was the only person she could talk to honestly about that hard time in her life. Maura had been so observant and she could see just how much Jane had needed Korsak when Hoyt appeared again, she knew what Korsak meant to Jane and she knew that the feeling was mutual between them both.

"Vince, Jane looks up to you. You'e been there when she's needed it the most. When Hoyt came back and she was lower than i'd seen her in a long time, you picked her up off the ground. I don't know what you said, but I do know it was you that helped her. For so long, Jane thought she was this shattered woman, she defined herself not by the good she had done by what Hoyt had taken from her and I don't know what you did or said to her, but I do know that it was you that helped her then. I tried and failed, everyone else did too, but not you. If anything is wrong with Jane, I can assure you, you'll be one of the first to know. She trusts you."

Korsak simply nodded in thanks and left Maura alone with her thoughts alone to get things done. He left with a little more hope, a little more faith that things were okay.

She spent the rest of the night working without being interrupted until a knock at the door startled her from her paperwork.

"It's a litle too late for stuff like that, don't you think?" The sound of Jane's voice made her head shoot up and she stood up, leaving a cautious space between them, not letting herself get carried away by her emotions.

"Yes, I suppose it is. When did you get out?"

Jane looked at the clock "about two hours ago, I met Ma and Frankie and I thought I'd jump in here and get some stuff sorted out."

Maura moved a tiny bit closer, not trusting herself to close the gap in the room. "So, what was wrong with you?"

Jane looked nervously down at her feet and shifted her weight from side to side, playing with a curl in her hair. "Just low blood sugars. They want me to take time off."

"How much time?"

"Two weeks."

Something wasn't right, Maura had noticed that right away. Jane wasn't talking proudly or moving confidently. She was pale and tired looking and her eyes were dark and hollow. Something bad had happened.

"Who took you home?"

"Ma. I needed to talk to her about some stuff."

The silence in the room was unbearable. The conversation was all wrong, Maura was supposed to be relieved to see her face, not terrified. Jane was here, but her mind was somewhere far away and as much as she wanted answers, she knew that this wasn't the time to push. Jane would be honest when she was ready.

"Anyway, I'm done in. I'll see you later." Jane smiled and turned to walk out the door, but before she left the room she stopped and looked around before she met Maura's gaze again.

"You're an amazing friend, you know."


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so I was wondering why so little people review my story, but I really shouldn't get too bothered considering I never ever update it! I have too many stories going on right now and to be perfectly honest the only one I want to update is this one, however university applications are getting in the way and i'm completely snowed under with assessments. I'm **_**desperate **_**to start a new story and Ive had the summary in my head for a long time, but i think it's best that I wait! **

**Enjoy! **

Maura paced her kitchen, wiping down her granite tops for the tenth time since she'd gotten home from work. When things were messy in her life, things got cleaner in her home. It had now been 4 days since she had last spoken to Jane; of course, there had been days where they never had the chance to see each other, many days, but right now it seemed so wrong. Jane hadn't been to work, she hadn't texted or called, she hadn't left her apartment since she'd left the morgue that night when she got out of hospital. And so Maura stood in her kitchen, trying to clean away the worry that had been eating away at her stomach lining, trying to make everything feel normal.

Maura tried not to think of Jane; not to think of her eyes or her hair or her smile, but no matter how hard she tried to concentrate on other things, her mind couldn't get rid of the picture of Jane. She imagined holding her hand in the hospital, talking to her and trying to make everything okay. She imagined sitting beside her in her apartment, handing her a drink and talking about life. She imagined laughing about Frost and Korsak's latest debates. She imagined Jane, standing in her doorway with open arms, reaching out for the same thing that Maura had been waiting for all of this time.

The doorbell rang and she dropped what she was doing, hoping that maybe Jane would be standing there but knowing that she probably wasn't. Still, she always hoped. She opened the door slowly, her eyes almost closed praying that when they opened her smile would be right there waiting. And it was.

"I think we need to talk, Maur."

She led her inside and they sat down on Maura's sofa, both with a glass of water, both scared of what the other might say.

Jane spoke first, her voice was hoarse and unused, like she'd spent the last four days alone in her home with only her thoughts. "I'm sorry about the way I walked away the other night. I wanted to talk to you about everything right there and then, but I needed to think about it."

Maura simply nodded, waiting on an explanation.

"But I'm ready now. Believe me, I wanted to tell you first, I wanted to call you right away, but Ma needed to be there and I knew that."

"that's okay, Jane,"

"I'm not quite sure how to say the words, Ma was there when they told me, Ma told Frankie and Ma arranged all the time off for me. I know I need to say it though, so I will."

Maura reached out hesitantly and grabbed Jane's hand, squeezing it supportively. She thought about the pain that Hoyt had put Jane through in the past, and how long it took her to let anyone hold those hands. She thought about the woman she'd first met, afraid to exchange a hand shake in case someone saw those scars. She thought about how brave she had been.

"The doctor's decided to do an MRI just to be safe. They told me I wouldn't have to worry and it was just taking all the necessary measures, and that everything would be okay." Jane let her guard fall for just a brief moment and her shoulders slumped but as quickly as they did, she was sitting sternly, her body saying things were okay but her eyes telling a completely different story.

"They found a mass. In my brain."

Maura ran through all the possibilities in her head, all the things that it could be that wouldn't hurt Jane. She tried her best to pretend that everything was absolutely okay. She tried her best but she knew that the symptoms pointed in a direction she couldn't think about.

"They ran some tests and well, I guess it's not looking good. I'm going in for a biopsy next week and if it's bad then we'll have a treatment plan really soon."

When Maura was 15 years old, she made the decision along with her parents to go to a boarding school. The decision wasn't prompted by anything her parents had done wrong; in fact, if anything they gave her everything in life to set her in the right direction. The thing about Maura was that she spent a lot of time in her life alone, and that's how it had always been. She liked being alone and she never felt as though she was missing out; as long as her grades were good and her life was okay, she didn't need people there to ride along with her. She spent the majority of her childhood engrossed in science and maths and facts that other people might find useless and her parents let her be this way because they knew that was just who she was. She was going to have a career and make money and, sure, she might fall in love along the way, but it wasn't something she worried about too often. Sure, once in a while it got lonely, and sometimes she missed her parents, but that was the path she had chosen. She never imagined anyone could come along and change it, she never imagined that she would want to spend time with someone rather than working in the morgue. She never saw Jane Rizzoli coming, and she sure as hell didn't want to see her leave.

**1 week later. **

Maura sat beside Jane's bed and sighed at the sight of her best friend, sleeping on a small hospital bed, looking pale and worn out. The biopsy hadn't taken all that long and she was informed that Jane should wake up in the next hour or so, but would remain groggy for a while but she was welcome to sit in with her while her mother couldn't be there.

"Your mom and Frankie will be here in the next couple of hours, they just needed to sort some things out and I told them i'd be here for you." Maura ran her fingers along Jane's arm until she stopped at her hand, she laced her fingers through Jane's and bowed her head down for a moment to let herself breathe.

"It's going to be okay, you know. I mean…I know that you're probably terrified, and I know that it's a good thing that you're asleep right now because you don't have to worry about anything. I wish I could take that worry away from you for a moment, take the weight off your shoulders." She breathed in the urge to cry and continued "you're such a strong woman. You're incredible in so many ways and I know…I _know _that you can fight anything that comes your way."

"Maur?"

Maura wiped her eyes quickly and composed herself in time for Jane's eyes to open slowly. Her voice was tired and she was breathing heavily.

"You're awake."

Maura moved her seat closer to Jane and she sat her hand supportively on her arm.

"how long have I been out?"

"about 5 hours. How do you feel?"

She expected to hear an answer, but Jane's breathing evened out and she mumbled something incoherent before her eyes slipped shut again. It was better that she was asleep.

_She was in a dark room, so dark that she couldn't see the furniture or even if there was any. The silence around her was suffocating, she felt as though the walls were closing in. She clamped her eyes shut and stopped herself from hyperventilating, and when she opened them she was in a church. The room was overflowing with officers and other people she didn't recognise, every single person dressed in black. At the front of the room sat an open-top coffin, Angela and Frank Rizzoli stood frozen staring over the top. She walked slowly down the middle of the room, passing all of the people that were broken over their loss, each and every one of them crying into their hands. When she reached the coffin, Angela and Frank turned to face her, their faces wet with tears and they both held their arms out for an embrace. She wanted to hug them more than anything, but her mind drew her to the coffin and she couldn't stop her feet as they made their way closer to the top, her whole body shaking with fear. There she was, wearing her cop uniform with her hair in a bun and her badges pinned all the way up to the top. Jane Rizzoli. _

_She turned to face everyone in the room, and everyone was staring at her with hopeful eyes. Frank and Angela moved in front of her and both took her hands into their own. "Only you can stop this. You need to save her. Save our Janie." _

When she opened her eyes, she was in the hospital room. She hadn't even realised she'd fallen asleep, but she had and she wasn't sure how long ago that was. It was dark now, and Jane was awake and staring at the roof. Jane was here and she was okay and she was alive, but that dream had felt so real and so vivid.

"Are you feeling okay?"

Jane sat up in the bed and smiled. "Yeah, I'm not so tired now."

"How long have you been awake?"

"About an hour, you looked so peaceful."

For an hour, they talked. They talked about everything, about work and about friends and about anything that wasn't the results. Jane didn't tell Maura how scared she was and Maura didn't tell Jane about her dream. They talked like they weren't in the hospital and they laughed like nothing was happening, like nothing was ever going to happen. Maura wished, more than anything, that she could capture this moment in a jar and put it away forever because she knew that these conversations wouldn't last forever. Soon they would forget about the jokes and the hugs. She knew that something was going to come along and change the way things had been for so long. She wanted to hold this moment in her hands as much as she wanted to hold Jane.

She knew that Jane didn't feel the same way, and that hurt more than anything in the entire world.

_you'll be alright, no one can hurt you now. _

**Thank you endlessly to all of you who favourite/follow/review! **


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